My name is A.J. and I am overweight. I have been overweight most of my life. My parents are both overweight. My grandparents are/were all overweight. I grew up in a time and place where food wasn’t as plentiful and easy to come by and you were forced to finish everything that was on your plate. I have lived with a collection of bad eating habits, bad body image and lack of self control for as long as I can remember.
A few years ago, I became a wife and a parent, and all of the bad habits got worse and I justified them–I was a parent. I was too tired, too busy taking care of everyone else to worry about me. And it showed.
But my body has had enough so I am taking it back.
I am going to love my body the way I love my child.
That means I will force it to eat things that are good for it, even though it will throw me tantrums that it wants chocolate for breakfast. That means I will reward it for doing something good rather than punishing it for misbehaving.
I am going to cook when it’s more convenient to order out.
It’s time consuming and requires careful planning and SO MUCH EFFORT and I’m never going to be make Pad Thai like my favorite joint and I’ll never allow myself to bake a chocolate brownie donut, but that’s ok. It’s worth the effort. I’m worth the effort.
I am going to learn to make food I want to eat.
“Dieting” is not sustainable. A new way of seeing and doing food is. In order to not relapse into my bad habits, I will learn to make delicious yet not-deathly food.